The last month has been full on. I somehow have this perfect boyfriend which took up a lot of my time except now he’s half way through a pilgrimage in India, being a good person and all that. While he’s working with the poor, sick and disabled, I’ve spent my time being less productive by not putting on pants and eating a block of chocolate a day.
I got my ATAR (university entrance score) recently which made me both happy and sad (and somewhat neurotic) so I thought “Hey, why not continue Sim Marta’s breakdown?????”

With an array of new traits (including ~insane~) in one hand, and a glass of Vodka made from the sweat of Russian peasants in the other, Marta has been on many an adventure sporting her new favourite outfit: a wedding dress

Image

“My imaginary ex-fiance left me at the alter, buy me a drink and I’m yours for the night do you want to see a dead body

Having no luck pulling off the “Ted Mosby”, Marta headed to the graveyard to mourn the loss of said imaginary ex-fiance after his “suspicious disappearance”

Image

If she didn’t get her tear ducts removed, along with her soul, she might actually be able to cry

After crying at a random tombstone for 3 hours and her need for sleep increasing by the minute, the disgruntled Marta thought “Hey, why not start a Fight Club.” Sticking to rules 1 and 2 of her new found stress relief / means to continue being insane, she started a brawl that may or may not have even happened…

Image

FUCKING BRING IT OLD MAN, I’M MARTA MOTHER FUCKERS, I DO WHAT I WANT

By the time she arrived home from her late night escapades, Sim Kyle had awoke to face another boring day of filing and making coffee for people who are richer than him. I love how Sim Kyle is even more pretentious and ambitious than me, and I thought that literally wasn’t possible. Apparently my custom content doesn’t like me going to work however,  so every morning my hair disappears… It must be related to Marta’s new look in some way.

Image

“One day you will all work for me x0x0”

As Kyle left for work, Marta arrived home more satanic than ever. Being homesick from the hell in which she arose, she sat by the fire and plotted her revenge to those who have crossed her.

Image

“ah yes, this is much more like home. I love cooking people… I mean marshmallows”

Seriously though, if that face doesn’t scream “I use a vacuum cleaner instead of tampons and I will murder your children” I have no idea what does. With that in mind, the only person who has actually crossed Marta in any shape or form is the wanna-be punk rocker from the thrift shop. Naturally she was there within seconds but with such a short-term memory and  the attention span of a dog on heat, she forgot her plans of pain and chaos and just yelled at him like she does to most small children on the street.

Image

~I don’t want no scrub, a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me~

After scheming, burning and yelling at every thing she sees, Marta deserved to replenish her ever depleted “fun” need. She considered painting but without a soul, there isn’t much that she can paint other than bowls of fruit and stills of Kim Kardashian from her sex tape so fishing was the next best option. She still isn’t very good at the whole concept of what is ~socially acceptable~ and so this happened

Image

“I’d rather be thising”

It wasn’t until now that Marta even thought anything was wrong. After public urination and disrupting the peace, she reflected on her life and damn, was she loving being bat-shit cray… but it was time for a change. She needed something to happen, to change her path and reclaim the leopard print wearing artist she once was so her best course of action was naturally-

Image

witchcraft. With her fragile state of mind, the closest she could get to casting a spell was reading a book while being surrounded by pillars which was good enough for her. I think it’s time she abandons the wedding dress until she actually gets married (ahahhahaah like that could happen, who could ever want her?). But until then, it’s back to ugly clothes and a deranged sense of self worth for Marta until the conclusion of her first of many mental breakdowns.

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve haven’t got around to playing the Sims which I will blame work and my recent boyfriend (who will be making appearance when I can be bothered making him). Somehow I think post year 12 Kyle is even more busy than when I (attempted) to go to school every day. I did buy the Late Night expansion in the midst of socialising and drinking my weight in diet Coke which means aPARTMENTS AND CLUBBING AWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAH.  With so much time between posts, I’m sure majority of the minority of people who read these posts have forgotten where the Sims left off, basically Sim Marta is about to hit rock bottom. BRACE YOURSELVES.

Sim Marta apparently lacks the same social boundaries as her real counterpart and thought it was acceptable to try and kiss the punk cashier 10 minutes after meeting him… It didn’t end well…

Image

“KiSs Me BaBeH u Da 1 4 mE” “uGH LEOPARD PRINT? SELLOUT~!~!~!”

After being rejected by the Sims equivalent of Black Market trash, Sim Marta sashayed home but in her maniac state, she found herself in search for a deeper meaning of life, or at least a reason to get out of bed the next morning. After prolonged exposure to the trashy, wannabe-metal guy, Sim Marta felt the urge to dig through actual trash and metal at the Junkyard.

Image

Hello, Boyfriend? Dignity? Is anyone there?

With no avail, Sim Marta’s natural artistic instincts kicked in and like a moth to a flame, she flew to the local art gallery which at 1am… was rather empty. The only way I can explain how she was viewing these pieces is by liking it to Cameron Frye’s in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Image

Image

After an hour of staring at a singular painting and complaining about her hunger, she eventually returned home but in true Britney circa 2007 fashion, her internal breakdown began to reflect on her exterior. At this time, Sim Kyle had woken from a solid sleep and spent the early hours of the morning playing video games instead of dealing with his best-friend’s neurotic episode (oh, this game is scarily too much like real life)

Image

“CAN’T TALK, BIOSHOCK”

Upset by the lack of attention her breakdown was receiving from well… anyone, Marta stumbled to the beach to symbolically demonstrate her rebirth as one crazy sunnavabitch sort of like, a reverse baptism? With her new gear and don’t-give-a-single-fuck outlook on life, Sims Marta is out to snatch the weaves of all the basic bitches who have ever crossed her.
Image

Image

Image

Image

It’s Britney Marta, bitch.

So 4 exams and several mental breakdowns later, I have FINALLY finished year 12 which means

1) I can play the Sims as much as I want
2) There is no need for me to put pants on during the week (FREEDOM)

Sim Kyle and Marta have aged up into young adults, thrusting them into the real world which also means cutting off some loose ties

Image

~Sorry boys, Mamma K’s a free man~

I think this relates pretty well to real life as while I wouldn’t mind having someone to cuddle in bed with me right now, I actually hate everyone and can probably get the same satisfaction from setting myself on fire.

Sim Tyne has started working as a stylist but she spends more time rejecting clients and “implying they look like a llama” than actually working.

Image

“Rejecting clients is really good for my personal brand mWAH x0x0”

Give me a break, styling Sims takes up so much time and effort that could be spent thinking of ways to make Sim Marta so unlovable that the only friend she will have in the town is me (is that a little bit too co-dependent, even in a game???). On that note though, the fucking bitch can’t even pick up her own clothes in her beautifully decorated room.

Image

Youuuuuu son-of-a-bissssshhhhhhhhh

I even gave her a personal deck and a lovely view to paint and tHIS IS HOW SHE TREATS ME?!?

Image

ISN’T THAT JUST THE MOST MAJESTIC TREE YOU EVER DID SEE?

Now, I’m not overreacting or anything, I just expect her to do everything I say without questioning it and loving me regardless. That goes for her Sim too. I think it’s about time that I start messing with her. I’m thinking facial tattoos?

Actually this guy just started talking to her in the thrift shop

Image

I think the puck rock look appeals to Marta’s 2008 ‘My Chemical Romance’ phase

Maybe Marta will trade in the leopard print and high waisted shorts to become a groupie? Or I could just make her live in the junkyard? Until then, I will be watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Come on guys, we all have our guilty pleasures) and celebrating my new found freedom.

So I went to start creating my best friend Marta and myself on the Sims and found that I had already made us in separate families so I decided I should just stick with them.
I start the game and go to make breakfast, next thing I know, my sister burns to death…

Image

All that hairspray makes her highly flammable

Looks like I’m starting this day again… and not making waffles

10 Sim Days until Marta and I age into young adults – that’s when the real fun begins!